An Australian podcast has lit up TikTok by asking if you’re in a guess family or an ask family. In a guess family, host Jessie Stephens says, “you don’t really directly ask for anything ever,” but instead just sneak in a mention of what you need. In an ask family, you say what you need and leave it to the other person to say yes or no.
Experts say there’s no right or wrong answer. Luis Cornejo, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says the two types of families are well-known by other names. “Guess” is often the same thing as “people pleaser,” with those people not wanting to impose and running the risk of becoming “a doormat.” That can be avoided by shifting the way you ask for things, with the example given by Cornejo being “Would you be open to helping me move?” instead of “Can you help me move.”
On the other hand, “ask” families can be too aggressive or assertive. That can be avoided by giving someone an “out” when you ask for something.
Source: USA Today